Co-regulation creating a healthy connection.
- Lizette Bautista
- Dec 8, 2025
- 2 min read
Updated: Dec 18, 2025
There’s no script for parenting—especially in those moments when everyone’s overwhelmed. But one of the most powerful tools we have is: co-regulation.
What Is Co-Regulation?
Co-regulation means helping your child manage their emotions by staying calm, present, and connected with them—especially when their feelings are big and hard to handle.
According to Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, children aren’t born knowing how to regulate emotions. They learn it over time through safe, supportive relationships.
That means your presence, voice, and energy actually teach your child’s brain how to calm down.
You help them feel safe—so one day, they’ll know how to calm themselves.
What If I’m Frustrated Too?
First: that’s completely valid. You’re not a robot. You’re a parent doing your best.
Co-regulation doesn’t mean you never get upset—it means you notice your reaction and make a choice to pause, take a breath, and connect.
You might say:
“This is hard for both of us. Let’s take a breath.”
“I see you’re upset. I’m here with you.”
“We’ll figure it out together.”
Tools to Use in the Moment
Here are simple ways to practice co-regulation:
Breathe together – “Let’s blow out a candle.”
Take a break – You and your child step away from setting and return when calm.
Reset the environment – Move to another room, turn on soft music, or go outside.
Name emotions – “It seems like you’re really sad/mad/scared right now.”
Don’t worry about getting it perfect. What matters most is your effort to connect.
Why It Matters
This is where true connection begins.
When you model calm—even imperfectly—you teach your child that:
Emotions are safe.
They’re not alone in their feelings.
Big emotions don’t break your bond.
This is how we build resilience, trust, and emotional literacy in our kids.
Final Thought
You're not just reacting to behavior—you're helping shape your child’s ability to handle life. That’s powerful, sacred work.
And remember: You can always take a break and try again. That, too, is a lesson in regulation.
You’ve got this—and I’m here to help.
Want More Support?
If this post resonated with you, explore my 1:1 parent coaching sessions.
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